-ignore

YES, I HAVE

been backstabbed.

made mistakes.

told him how i felt.

no self confidence.

lost my ‘best friend’

blasted my music to tune out the world.

laughed so hard i cried & cried myself to sleep.

self inflicted wounds

stood up for myself & for a friend.

 

but honestly

none of you people on the internet

none of you

know me

so back off.

and don’t judge me.

because it just makes you ten times worse than me.

Merry Christmas <3

Well, Christmas started off great. I woke up at 4:30 and then waited excitedly till five, so I could go wake my brother and sister up. We woke our parents up, and then instantly went to our presents from Santa. I must say, I did pretty good this year.

Out of my sack I pulled; Stripy knee high socks, Deodorant, a pencil case, pens, 3 new notebooks, a packet of dove chocolates, a packet of other chocolates, a word search book, the game Twister, hairspray, moisturiser, balloons, candy canes, party poppers, a diary for next year, two squishy foam balls with funny faces on them, some tennis balls, a wii game, a ds game, a dress, shoes, a wizz fizz stocking, a mouse pad and wrist rest thing cause i spend way too much time on the computer, and a ball catch game thingy.

After we opened our presents from Santa, my parents headed back to bed for half an hour, while we explored what we got. Then, when they got back up (after my brother threatened to shoot them with his nerf gun) we opened our presents from them.

I only got one present from them, but it is amazingly gorgeous. It’s a silver chain sort of necklace, with a love heart locket type thing on the end.

My brother got a new scooter, and my sister got an mp3 player and a set of drawers to put jewellery in.

Our parents also opened their presents from us, lots of food, and for my mum, a bread maker and ironing board cover, and for my dad, a shirt, beer holder, and the storm chasers dvd set.

After we’d opened those presents, my sister and I went back into our room, and I turned the laptop on, to charge her new mp3 player and put songs on it for her. While i was online (which was at about 6:20 in the morning!) I talked to Jordan, Kimberley and Ryan.

Then after that, my grandma rang and said we could open our presents from her before she got here, because she was working. So I opened mine, and what did I get? A pair of blue denim shorts, with a light floral print on them, a denim tie vest thing, a gray short sleeve cardigan andddd the biography of Metallica! I love the book. I’ve only read the first few pages, but I really love the band, always have. I’ve listened to them, literally since I was born because my dad is a big fan. The book itself is really thick, and the cover is so smooth and almost velvety. The picture of James Hettfield on the front is awesome.

After that we had a delicious breakfast, thanks to my dad. We had pancakes, eggs, and baked/fried (not sure which) ham. I also had… pineapple juice.. *wink wink*

We spent most of the rest of the day just playing with our presents. My mum and sister played with her table tennis, and my dad and I had a go at my wii game. It’s a jellybean one ;D

-Insert family drama here-

My aunty came over later in the afternoon and gave us our presents. –insert more drama-

I got a pair of pandora earrings. They are absolutely gorgeous!

then we had a big yummy dinner and my parents & grandma told stories from their childhood. :D

right now it’s 10:18 and we’re all watching Stormchasers.

Merry Christmas everyone.

I love you all.

<3 <3

down where the city meets the sea.

<3

^
|
|
 
how i feel.

ryan. ♥

grr. stupid feelings.

i should probably stop thinking about him.

all day.

all fuckking day i’ve been thinking about him.

:|

<3 <3

g’night

night everyone ;)

take me away to that empty apartment. ♥

i feel strange..

sad.

why do i feel sad?

i should be in the best mood. i had a really good day.

so why do i feel like crap?

maybe i’m just too tired to think properly.

but i’m managing to type this aren’t i?

i love blogging off the top of my head. any thought i have ends up here instantly. it’s quite fun.

no regrets. what i type stays here.

forever.

unless it starts extreme drama, but that’s not going to happen.

hm.

i love yellowcard. they're a really good band. the lead singer has a really nice voice.

so i got a bunch of new clothes today. i love my nan. forever and ever. she spent so much on me :s

i got;

1 pinky/red singlet top.

1 aqua singlet top.

1 gorgeous black dress.

1 silky top that flows at the bottom.

1 pretty white, black and pink tope with different patterns on it.

and

1 cute bag, that can be worn with anything and used for anything.

so yeah.

no i don’t know what to write.

i hate blogging when i’m in a bad mood. :/

um yeah.

bye.

♥

favourite song lyrics.

one lot of lyrics for every band i like. this is going to take awhile. :)

\With your hand in mine
We'll soar through the night
And like the dozens of spaceships we'll dance with satellites

- Promise The Stars; We The Kings.

I'm fallin' in love
But it's fallin' apart.
I need to find my way back to the start.
When we were in love.
Oh things were better than they are.
Let me back into.
Into your arms.
Into your arms.

-Into Your Arms; The Maine

I know it feels like forever
I guess that's just the price I gotta pay
But when I come back home to feel your touch
Makes it better

- I Can Wait Forever; Simple Plan

How did it come to this ,
how did i know it was you
it was a bad dream,
asphyxiated watch me bleed
the life support was cut ,
the knot was too tight,
they push and pull but they know
they'll never win

- Sell Your Soul; Hollywood Undead

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

-Numb; Linkin Park

So many thoughts that I can't get out of my head
I try to live without you, every time I do I feel dead
I know what's best for me
But I want you instead
I'll keep on wasting all my time

-Over And Over; Three Days Grace

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
and nothing else matters

- Nothing Else Matters; Metallica

I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you

-The Reason; Hoobastank

There's always something different going wrong
The path I walk is in the wrong direction
There's always someone fucking hanging on
Can anybody help me make things better?

-Tears Don’t Fall; Bullet For My Valentine.

Even though I’d be sacrificed,
You won’t try for me, not now.
Though I’d die to know you love me,
I’m all alone.
Isn’t someone missing me?

-Missing; Evanescence.

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Till then I walk alone

-Boulevard Of Broken Dreams; Greenday

It's just my humble opinion
But it's one that I believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you

- Playing God; Paramore

I have gave into this for long enough
I have lost and I have loved
Sleep had stolen far too much
So don't close your eyes
Not just yet
Sleep is just a cousin of death

- Diamonds Aren’t Forever; Bring Me The Horizon

Talk to me softly
There is something in your eyes
Don't hang your head in sorrow
And please don't cry
I know how you feel inside I've
I've been there before
Somethin is changin' inside you
And don't you know

- Don’t Cry; Guns N’ Roses

There's a ghost in this room
I think I'll name it after all of you
And watch it hang over my bed like decorations celebrated
Memories, they came and went in light of all the time we spent
Listening to everything our parents told us not to take in

- Vegas; All Time Low

We are breathing, while your sleeping
Go
And leave us alone
The lines cheated
Our hearts beating
Go
And now your on your own

- Perfect Weapon; Black Veil Brides.

Oh brother, spare us all, we don't care anymore
We just wanna get down on the floor
You sell yourself to make it
You can dish it but can you really take it

- Guilty Pleasure; Cobra Starship

Darling what is going on?
Honestly that never happened
Lying is your favourite passion.
Leave me, go where you belong
Higher heels and lipstick napkins
dying is your latest fashion.

- Situations; Escape The Fate

Skin against skin blood and bone
You're all by yourself but you're not alone
You wanted in now you're here
Driven by hate
consumed by fear
Let the bodies hit the floor

- Bodies; Drowning Pool

Say my name and his in the same breath
I dare you to say they taste the same
Let the leaves fall off in the summer
And let December glow feel flames

- I Don’t Care; Fall Out Boy

Oh! Well in fact
Well I'll look at it this way
I mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a toast, so pour the champagne
Pour the champagne

- I Write Sins Not Tragedies; Panic At The Disco

Breathe in for luck.
Breathe in so deep.
This air is blessed, you share with me.
This night is wild, so calm and dull.
These hearts, they race, from self-control.
Your legs are smooth, as they graze mine.
We're doing fine.
We're doing nothing at all.

- Hands Down; Dashboard Confessional.

I'm ridin on a dolphin, doin flips and shit
This dolphin's splashin, gettin e'rybody all wet
But this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets
I'm on a boat motherfucker, don't you ever forget

- I’m On A Boat; The Lonely Island

If I could fall
Into the sky
Do you think time
Would pass me by
'Cause you know I'd walk
A thousand miles
If I could
Just see you
Tonight

- A Thousand Miles; Vanessa Carlton

If there's a place that I could be,
Then I’d be another memory
Can I be the only hope for you?
Because you’re the only hope for me
And if we can find where we belong,
We’ll have to make it on our own.
Face all the pain and take it on
Because the only hope for me is you

- The Only Hope For Me Is You; My Chemical Romance

Cause I want it now
I want it now
give me your heart and your soul
and I'm breaking out
I'm breaking out
last chance to lose control

- Hysteria; Muse

I heard a whisper in my ear
It said come with me, away from here
And leave these burning buildings far behind you
But it was far too late
So it all came crashing
I can see your shadow is much too far behind you
And I can see you're much too late
At night we watched the stars explode
The blackest sky we'd ever known
The moon came falling down just shortly after

- Shadows; The Getaway Plan

Take me, I'm alive
Never was a girl with a wicked mind
But everything looks better
When the sun goes down

- Make Me Wanna Die; The Pretty Reckless

too many words
too many lies
i can't quite see the truth
when i look into your eyes

- Running; Evermore

All day
Staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night
Hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

- Unwell; Matchbox 20

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now
Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you and we'll both fall down

- Ever The Same; Rob Thomas

You have a chance to really shine now
Well patience never was one of your true virtues
Stop trying to control everything and fuck what they say,
what do you have to prove?

- When All Is Said And Done; Trapt

Something I've been keeping locked away behind my lips
I can feel it breaking free with each and every kiss
I couldn't bear to hurt you but it's all so different now
Things that I was sure of, they have filled me up with doubt

- Breathing; Yellowcard

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

- Set The Fire To The Third Bar; Snow Patrol

I've gone too far to turn around
It's hard to reach for you
When I'm lying face down
I can't relieve my soul
I'm lost in a moment
Lying face down

- Drowning (Face Down); Saving Abel

Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hollow ground

- Howl; Florence And The Machine

That's about the time she broke up with me (Please stay)
No one should take themselves so seriously (with me, please stay)
With many years ahead to fall in line (with me, please stay)
Why would you wish that on me? (with me)
I never want to act my age (please stay)
What's my age again? (with)
What's my age again? (me)

- What’s My Age Again; Blink 182

I don't want you,
I don't want you to go,
I've got the sun in my eyes,
I didn't see you passing me buy,
I just wanted you,
I just wanted you to know,
Inside of me forever you'll go,

- Gone; The Butterfly Effect

Don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you
So don't let 'em say you ain't beautiful
They can all get fucked, just stay true to you

- Beautiful; Eminem

If I had told you
You would've listened
You had stayed
You would be here forever
Never went away

- Bittersweet; Within Temptation

And there are probably a billion more, but this is all I can manage to do.

So enjoy.

<3